


-L I F E- UNEXPECTED

by Lotus514



Series: -L I F E- UNEXPECTED (wowson) [1]
Category: A.C.E (Beat Interactive Band), Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Dreams, F/M, Fluff, Love, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Reflection, Self Confidence, Self Confidence Issues, Slice of Life, Trust Issues, Wowson - Freeform, tease
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2019-04-05 06:28:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14038185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lotus514/pseuds/Lotus514
Summary: This is an alternate universe fiction about Kim Seyoon (wow) and Jason (Kim Byeongkwan) of the Kpop group called A.C.E, check them out! they are amazing! Some guys from Monsta X come and goes throughout the story.**Italic writing is the thoughts of the character **





	1. -Out of The Blue-

**Author's Note:**

> This is an alternate universe fiction about Kim Seyoon (wow) and Jason (Kim Byeongkwan) of the Kpop group called A.C.E, check them out! they are amazing!
> 
> Video credit to hobi's ju at youtube. 
> 
> **Italic writing is the thoughts of the character ** (only Seyoon in this chapter)
> 
> Seyoon mostly spends his days with training/working, modelling, dancing, singing and rapping. He is part of a smaller agency in Seoul but it's still big enough that he can travel around the world for different jobs. His income is pretty stable even though It's quite sporadic, mainly because he is good at saving his money. He lives alone in a pretty spacious but not at all luxurious apartment, its good size, good rent, good location, it has all he needs.
> 
> Jun lives close to Seyoon and they've been best friends for years. Jun also works in the entertainment industry. Right now he works as a dance teacher for the Performing arts school in town. He also works part-time as a singer/songwriter at the local bars in town, he's not doing it for the money, and he does it for his own sake, just because it makes him feel good. Most things he does are because they make him feel good, no more no less.
> 
> Jason originally lives and works in Vancouver, Canada, but has family in Seoul so he occasionally travels back and forth. For now, he is staying in Seoul indefinitely as he has lost his footing a bit back in Vancouver. He is staying with his cousin for now until he knows what his next step in life will be.
> 
> \----  
> "When I'm out on streets looking. Looking for someone to share my hopes and dreams with but no one is there for me. When I step on the street at night I am crying...
> 
> Crying for someone to see the importance of being free that some will never be."
> 
> -jj - JJN° 2
> 
> \----

Seyoon was in the bathroom staring at his hand. He could still feel a tingling feeling lingering. What just happened? His cheeks were burning. It was as if he'd gotten an electrical shock but I wasn't electricity. It was something else. Something he'd never felt before. He had just said hello and give the guy a handshake. In that instant, Seyoons life took a sharp left turn even when he'd never even seen that road approaching him.

____________________

A few days ago, on Wednesday to be exact, Seyoon had gotten the last item for his Halloween costume. Today, Saturday, he would host a Halloween party at his house. It was kind of exciting because it had been a while since he went to a party let alone hosted one. The reason he had taken a break from going to parties was that he was always hoping to meet someone. Someone special, someone that he would feel that chemistry with and that would actually like him back. For this party, however, he had decided to just be himself and not look for anyone who might spark his interest. It had been too many times that he was left solo at every party. His best friend Jun could just breathe and he'd be surrounded by girls and guys wanting his attention.

Seyoon had gone through a lot of different stages of singlehood by now that had led to the decision to just be fine with being single. It came to him when he at one point had felt bitter and jealous about seeing other couples, almost to the verge of getting angry about it. He wasn't an angry nor a bitter person so for the sake of his wellbeing he would be happy being by himself, he would alone but not lonely.

The last 3 years hadn't been easy, he had left his previous boyfriend and in the process, he noticed how much he always lived to please others. At first, he was really happy about becoming single because he hadn't had much experience of the single life, to be honest. Before he met his ex-boyfriend he had been too focused on studies, dancing, modelling and vocal/rapping training. When he met his ex-boyfriend it was kind of exciting because his ex was the one to initiate their relationship, he'd made Seyoon feel like he was the most beautiful person in the world. But soon after his ex had swooped him off his feet they had become comfortable in their relationship, probably too comfortable. Seyoon was the one to end it, they had grown too far apart and he had started to feel like the housekeeper rather than the boyfriend. Life should have more excitement in it than that. He did cry when it was over, the song "when I was your man" by Bruno Mars came on the radio and his tears just started streaming down his cheeks. Strangely, his tears had not been out of sadness, they had been out of relief.

About a week ago, while he and Jun were checking the guest list for the party, Jun said he had invited a few people he thought Seyoon would like. He was always trying to hook him up with someone. He had tried and failed so many times that Seyoon felt mostly annoyed at the attempts now and he had already decided to not even try to find a possible significant other, or fling or whatever in that category. Other than Jun's potential flings for Seyoon they would just be the same old party-crew. So instead of trying to find Mr Right and failing once again, he would just go all out with his costume and have fun with his friends. He would dress up as Edward Scissorhands this year, it had been a costume he wanted to do for a long time now, and his hair was just crappy and long enough that he could make a mess out of it anyway.

Soon after 6 PM, Jun came into Seyoons apartment, he had the spare key so he could come and go as he pleased, which was good this time since Seyoon was struggling with getting the coloured contacts into his eyes. He had just managed to get it into one eye and his makeup would need a massive makeover after this, streaks from his tears had stained his cheeks and washed away part of the light foundation he'd put on to make his skin look more like Edward Scissorhands.

"AISH!"

"Hey, Seyoon! That's not a way to greet your guests!"

"You're not a guest Jun"

"Ouch... But true, I'm more like a dad for you, taking care of you, wiping your tears when you weep" Jun patted Seyoons cheek with some tissue and pretended to take care of his little son.

"Pfft, yeah right.... just help me get this freaking contact in my eye won't you"

"Yeah yeah! Calm your horses, I'll help you, we have time, the guests aren't coming until 7 PM anyway."

"Mm"

Jun cleaned his hands and took the contact from Seyoon. It went a bit smoother now that Jun helped him and soon after they started the music and finished putting out alcohol and snacks all over the apartment. Seyoon was fixing his makeup when the doorbell rang. He went to open the door. Chan and Donghun were always early everywhere, or to be more exact, Donghun was always early but and he somehow managed to get Chan to come with him on time. If it would have just been Chan he would have showed up an hour late, and blaming it on seeing a cute dog on the way that he just had to stop and pet and end up playing with it and losing track of the time.

"WHAAAA Seyoon is that YOU!?" They both shouted when Seyoon had opened the door.

"Your costume is amazing!" Chan had just put on pyjamas for the evening, as an addition to the pyjamas he had a small bag hanging around his waist; it looked like something heavy was inside it.

"Mr Sandman? You gonna put everyone to sleep?"

"Whaaa Seyoon! You got it right away!" Chan turned to Donghun who was dressed in ---- "I told you everyone would get who I am!!"

Jun appeared in his baggy rabbit outfit snacking or a carrot, a real one of course.

"Chan! What the fuck!? What are you suppose to be? A baby? Well... then you could have just come in normal clothes..."

Donghun gave Chan a yeah-right-everyone-look. Which made Chan reply with a Jun-doesn't-count-look"

People came one after another and soon there were people all over the apartment. Apparently, the rumour had spread that he was having a party so that a few uninvited people also showed up, but that was fine. He was just a little bit concerned about one of the guests. She was known as Crazy girl among the friends because she tended to get downright crazy every now and then.

The doorbell rang. Jun opened and greeted his friend Shownu. Shownu had brought his cousin that was visiting from Canada and was staying with him for the time being.

"Welcome! Shownu, did you really dress up as a vampire?"

"Hehe... yeah..." Shownu had always been using words sparsely. "Um, this is my cousin, Jason"

Jun looked at Jason, back to Shownu, then to Jason again.

"You're related?" Jun's lack of poker face made Jason let out a little laugh. Jun's eyes were wide with the surprise since Shownu and Jason really looked nothing alike.

"Haha, no no, my father married his aunt, so I'm his cousin through marriage you can say" Jason replied.

"Aaahaaaa... now I get it! Well, welcome! My name is Jun, and this apartment belongs to our friend. Where is he now... SEEEYOOOOONNAAAAAH!" Jason twitched a little from the shock of Jun's shout.

"Ah! Here he comes! Seyoon-ah, Shownu is here and he brought his lovely cousin with him!"

Some other people had seen them coming and was greeting both Shownu and Jason so there was a bit of a crowd in between Seyoon and Jason. Jason ducked down and greeted Seyoon from under the handshake between Shownu and another guest. Seyoon got the hint and also ducked down. He took the hand that was reaching for his, then said "Hi" as he made eye contact with Jason.

Now he was standing in his bathroom in full costume and staring at his hand. What had just happened? His hand felt tingly. He took a deep breath and looked at himself in the mirror. His reflection wasn't him; He looked so much like Edward Scissorhands he could hardly recognise himself. For some reason that made him feel better. He could hide behind the mask of Edward tonight. Yeah, he just needed to breathe a bit and then go back out there. He could talk to the new guy while behind this mask. There wouldn't be any problems talking to him. He needed to talk to him. He had never before experienced getting an adrenaline rush and tingling fingers from just a handshake and a hello. Seyoon wasn't looking for a hook-up. But he needs to talk to Jason more, get to know what made his body react like this.

There was a knock on the bathroom door. Jun called out.

"Seyoooooniiii, you in there??"

"Oh gosh, he's getting drunk, that means we're going to the club soon. He always wants to go dancing when he gets tipsy. And he always starts acting extra cute while drunk. *Sigh*"

Seyoon didn't say anything. He just opened the door and in came the cutie-drunk-Jun

"Seyoooniii, we should go out soon!" *pout* "I wanna daaance!" *pout pout*

"Mhm, sure. Let's see what everyone else wants to do first"

Seyoon went into the living room again and noticed Jason right away. Jason wasn't even in the living room; he was out on the balcony talking to Crazy girl that had invited herself. Seyoon walked discreetly towards the balcony, he didn't want to come across as too much on the hunt. He wasn't hunting really, 'cause he had promised himself earlier to not think about anything within the category of romance or even anything remotely close to that. He just wanted to be a good host at his party and get to know the new guest Jason. Since Jason had had a late notice to the party he hadn't had time to find a good costume, so he had just gotten some horns that the put on his head, they kind of looked like the horns from the movie 'horns' with Daniel Radcliffe as the lead role. Jason had carefully put them in his hair and wore a backwards cap a bit crookedly so the one horn stuck out of the opening at the back of the cap and the other horn was right next to the edge of the cap. He must have put some effort into putting the horns on. They sat firmly and the edges were covered with his messy hair, they almost looked real.

Through the window, Seyoon saw Crazy girl throwing something from the balcony and the next second Jason was leaning over the balcony staring down towards the bushes on the ground. Crazy girl laughed and continued to smoke her cigarette. Seyoon went outside a little faster now to check what had just happened. Crazy girl turned to Seyoon when she heard the door open.

"Hahaha! Oh my God Seyoon! Come out here! Hang out with us!"

Seyoon was hesitant towards her, but still gave her a pleasant smile; after all, he was the host.

"How's it going out here?" he asked

"Great! I need another beer! Do you have any out here?" Crazy girl asked while trying to see if anyone had put any beers on the balcony. Seyoon knew there were some in one of the boxes that usually only held cushions and blankets. His fridge was too small to hold all the liquor for a party this size.

"You can grab a beer from the fridge", He said. He wanted her to leave them alone. Jason was watching both of them with little to no interest. He didn't seem angry, just relaxed and neutral.

Crazy girl put out her cigarette in an old beer can and left to get another beer. Seyoon put on his pleasant hosting smile and walked up to Jason. But he felt strangely tingly and had a hard time not to smile too wide.

"Hey, Jason. What's up?"

Jason continued to look relaxed and neutral. When their eyes met Seyoon felt a slight surge of electricity shoot through his core.

"Nothing much... " Jason said, " That girl just threw away my e-cigarette" adding a slight laugh at the end.

"What!?" Seyoon hadn't expected that. He didn't know Jason smoked. Or does it count as smoking if its an e-cigarette? "What do you mean she threw it away??"

"Just that she asked to look at my e-cigarette, I thought she just wanted to check it out. Then she chucked it out there somewhere" he said with a slight nod of his head towards the yard.

"What the hell?? Let's go get it then! Don't you want it back??"

"Yeah, of course, I want it back, it was kind of expensive, but it's dark as hell down there. It'll be like finding a needle in a haystack"

"Don't worry! I'm good at finding things! Even to the point that my friends call me to ask where they misplaced their stuff"

Jason chuckled a bit. Seyoon felt a bit proud of being able to make him laugh.

"Well, if you don't mind I'll be very grateful to at least go check. But if we can't find it it's ok, it's just stuff."

Seyoons mind recorded that and put it in the 'topics for later' part of his brain. "He said 'it's just things'... does that mean he's not materialistic? Or is he just too lazy? Maybe he has a bunch of those e-cigarettes at home, but he did say it's expensive and he wants to go get it.... oh gosh... Stop thinking.... I would like to get to know him more... As a friend... Just as a friend! I won't go there, especially not with him! He's way out of my league so it's better to become friends. Yeah, friends."

It was cold and dark outside. Seyoon had to really strain his eyes to try to find that little white stick. Apparently, the e-cigarette looks just like a regular cigarette. He could hear Jason trying to move some parts of the bushes to see if it might have landed there. Seyoon wanted to say something but now nothing came to mind. So he just continued his search quietly.

"So... Um... Really thanks... For helping me look..."

"Wha!! I think I found it!!"

Seyoon had seen something white on the dark grass. It was the e-cigarette. He felt a little sad about finding it so soon. Now they would have to go back inside again. That would mean all the other people would be with them too. He really wanted to hang out with Jason alone.

"Wow! You really are great at finding things! That was super fast Seyoon! Thank you!"

Seyoon felt a slight electricity pulse through his core again when Jason said his name.

"Oh, um... don't mention it!" Seyoon said with a smile feeling a slight blush warm his cheeks. He felt thankful that he was covered in heavy Edward Scissorhands makeup. "Well, let's head upstairs again then"

"You wanna stay here for a bit?"

Seyoon stopped and turned a bit too fast. He felt like a lost puppy finding his owner again. "Oh gosh could I make it more obvious that I like him, please!? Oh shit... I just admitted that I like him... as a friend! a friend... he seems like a cool friend! yeesh, I've just known the guy for a few hours. What's wrong with me!"

Jason smiled as he said, "I just think it's nice and peaceful here, you can even see the stars". Then he brought the e-cigarette to his lips. The tip of the cigarette glowed in a strong neon green led light"

He started walking towards a bench close by and Seyoon followed accordingly. They sat down and the only sound was the little click sound the e-cigarette made whenever Jason sucked in the liquid, followed by the thin vapour disappearing into the air. It smelled like apples. Jason seemed comfortable without talking. He was really just enjoying life in the present. It made Seyoon become even more curious about him.

"So... how do you like it here? I heard you usually live in Canada?"

"Yeah, in Vancouver. And It's nice here, There's not really a lot to do but that has its charms too"

"How long have you been here now"

"Just about a month now," He said and for the first time I a while he turned to look at Seyoon. He didn't say anything else; he just gave Seyoon a little bit of a smirk. "Oh holy shit what a smirk"

"So you've gotten used to the neighbourhood by now then?" Seyoon wasn't sure why he asked that. He was bad at small talk.

"Actually not at all! I keep getting lost whenever I want to go out by myself" Jason laughed from the slight embarrassment of admitting he had a bad sense of direction.

"If you want a guide I'm pretty free these days." Seyoon was a bit shocked at how easily he'd come up with that suggestion, but also proud. He made a mental pat on his back for that.

"Really? I don't want to be a burden though! But if you're really sincere about it I'd like to take you up on that."

"Of course I mean it. I wouldn't say it if I didn't"

They changed contact information with each other and went back to just being silent for a moment. Although Seyoon liked being quiet and he could usually enjoy hanging out with his friends quietly, this was something different. The longer the silence stretched the more Seyoon felt like his heart was getting strained by the chemicals pumping around in his system whenever he was close to Jason.

"How about you? Are you from around here?" Jason broke the silence.

"Not really, I moved here a few years ago" Seyoon didn't know how to continue the conversation. He could feel his confidence of being hidden behind the Edward-mask was fading. He really wanted to continue to just sit here and feel comfortable without talking. But he wasn't comfortable at all. His stomach felt like leaping electric eels were moving as they pleased in there. He convinced himself it's just because Jason is very attractive and he always had a difficult time talking to people he found attractive. The silence was suddenly interrupted and Jason jumped a little at the surprise. Seyoon hardly reacted; things rarely scared him much. But seeing Jason get scared like that was too adorable. That also made his chemicals reacts and almost into overload.

"SEYOOOOONIIIIIII"

Seyoon and Jason both looked up to the balcony. There was Jun shouting Seyoons name

"Oh shoot! He's not going to stop shouting! Let's go inside again! Or I mean, I have to go inside again, you don't have to if you don't want to. I just..."

"SEYOONI SEYOOOONIII SE SE SE SEEEYOOOOONI NI NINIIIIIII"

"Shit" Seyoon ran upstairs to stop Jun from shouting his name from the balcony. His neighbours would get so annoyed!!

While running up the steps, Crazy girl was throwing a fit in the stairs. Some of Seyoons friends were following her trying to calm her down. There was no time for her right now; he had to stop Jun from shouting from the balcony. After that, he would return to Crazy girl who would hopefully be calm by then.

He came to the balcony in a rush and managed to drag Jun inside only to hear the commotion in the staircase getting louder. Crazy girl had stumbled down the stairs. She seems ok except for the fact that she's a bit too drunk. Seyoon headed towards her to at least get her back into the apartment first. She was being way too loud and would disturb the neighbours. He just managed to come into the stairwell when he heard the commotion rising. Crazy girl was in a heated discussion on the phone now; some of Seyoons friends were already in the stairwell trying to get her to go either into the apartment or outside, preferably outside. Then it all happened so fast. Crazy girl got annoyed at his friends trying to get her back into the apartment. In one swift move, she fell down the stairs. Seyoon was just about to run down to her when Jason got to her first. Jason was very level headed and handled the situation with calmly. He seemed used to these kinds of emergency situations. Seyoon felt a warmth spread in his chest. Jason really seemed like a good guy.

Luckily Crazy girl wasn't visibly hurt. She really had a strange kind of luck. But Jason had still called for a taxi to take her to the hospital for a check-up. Her boyfriend that she had argued with on the phone was on his way to go with her. Seyoon trusted all was well and could finally go back into the apartment. On their way up Seyoon thanked Jason for his help with the situation.

"That's nothing to thank me for, I was just doing what had to be done"

"Well, um... you seem very confident with handling the situation, have you done anything like that before?"

"Not really, I just know I get very calm whenever an accident occurs. The same thing happens if I hurt myself, it's like I step outside on my own mind and just do what needs to be done about the situation"

"Well, I was really impressed," Seyoon said as a shy smile crept onto his lips.

They got into the apartment and was just about to grab a beer each when the doorbell rang. Seyoon had a questioning look on his face when he went to open the door. His body froze when he opened the door. He didn't even have time to say hello before two cops walked into the apartment.

"Who lives here?" one of them asked coldly

Seyoon straightened up as said

"Me, I live here. Is there something wrong?"

"We got complaints from the neighbours, they said a fight was going on here"

While one cop was talking to Seyoon the other one went further into the apartment to check how things were going. When she got back to her colleague she said everything looked fine.

"You should round up this party for now," the cop said to Seyoon.

Seyoon nervously followed the orders right away and began to tell people it was time to go to the club now. Getting everyone out went surprisingly smooth. But once outside the guests seemed like lost sheep on a field of grass. Quite literally so. Everyone had gone to stand in the middle of the park outside of his apartment. Seyoon felt deflated now. He was losing his energy; He saw Jason and blurted out

"I need a hug"

Seyoon quickly realised he had said that out loud while he had gotten eye contact with Jason. He tried to walk away but he didn't know which direction to choose. Those seconds of indecisiveness gave Jason enough time to walk over to Seyoon and pull him into a tight warm hug. This felt so good. Seyoon wanted to stay in his embrace for the rest of the night. He let out a slow sigh as he felt Jason loosen up and removing himself from their hug. Seyoon looked at Jason and with a crooked smile said a humble "thank you". Jason replied with a crooked smile of his own while making steady eye contact with Seyoon. This made Seyoon blush and look down into the grass.

"Such a sexy smile" Seyoon quickly pulled himself out of his forbidden thoughts and started getting everyone together again. Now they had to go to the club. He called as many cabs as was needed for everyone to get a ride to the club.

The club was filled with people dressed up in amazing costumes for the evening. Apparently, they had a competition going on. Jun was the first one on the dance floor, he was such a bright and happy person. He didn't care if he was dancing alone, as long as he was dancing. Seyoon felt like he had been disregarding his friends too much tonight. Even if he'd had a moment when he was talking to his friends his mind had only been filled with thoughts about Jason. He started dancing with Jun and in a little moment, they had gotten into their bubble of silly dancing. They were both laughing loudly having fun. It felt nice and carefree. Someone tapped on Seyoons shoulder. There was a handsome guy holding a camera.

"Hi! I'm Kihyun! I'm the photographer for the club this evening" He had to speak loud and close to Seyoon because of the loud music. "Tonight there's a costume competition and we think your costume is amazing! May I take your picture? The winner will be announced later tonight"

"Sure! That's ok! and thank you!" Seyoon shouted back.

Kihyun gestured that Seyoon should follow him. Seyoon looked at Jun to see if he was ok with him leaving him for a bit. Jun was almost pushing him away and shouted, "GO! HE'S CUTE GO!" Seyoon got a bit embarrassed because Jun shouted so loudly! Kihyun must have heard him saying he was cute. He turned back to Kihyun only to see a very amused smirk. He most definitely had heard him.

Kihyun had taken him to a more quiet part of the club. It was close to a beautiful staircase that normally leads up to an outside floor of the club, it was closed now because it was too cold. It was the end of October after all. There was some professional photography gear set up, a couple of lamps and Kihyun was just pulling out his laptop out of his bag to attach it to the camera. Seyoon had had some experience of modelling before meaning he was pretty comfortable with this. Except that Kihyun kept stealing glances at him and putting on a crooked smile whenever they made eye contact.

"Have you ever modelled before?"

"Yeah, a few times"

"So you know some poses then I assume?"

"Yeah"

"Then, by all means, feel free and do your thing," Kihyun said as he winked and put the camera up, ready to shoot.

Seyoon got up a few steps and casually leaned against the wall. Whenever he was modelling he felt like he got into a different more confident character of himself. Kihyun kept snapping pictures and Seyoon changed his pose before each snap. Kihyun put down the camera and tilted his head while looking intently at Seyoon. Seyoon stood still. Kihyun started walking up to him and not until he was very close did Seyoon start to pull back.

"I just need to fix this part of your jacket" Kihyun had a soft voice as he spoke. But he came a bit too close to Seyoons face. He surely didn't have to be this close to being able to reach the collar of his jacket.

"Um ok" Seyoon didn't know how to tell him to finish up quickly, he wanted to go back to his friends. And he wanted to get to know his new friend better. He wondered what Jason was doing now.

"Don't worry handsome, I'm almost done with your pictures," Kihyun said while still keeping close. He looked into Seyoons eyes and let his hand linger on the shoulder. Then he slowly let his hand slide down a little bit on the chest before he went back to his camera.

Seyoon easily found his way back to the dance floor and instantly saw Jun dancing. Then he saw Jason leaning against the back wall of the dance floor. It seems he was talking to someone but it was hard to tell because of all the people. Seyoon started dancing with Jun but tied to position himself so that he could still see Jason. For a short moment, the crowd left a big enough space so that he could see Jason talking to a very flirty girl. He didn't like that. His heart felt a little sting as he realised that maybe Jason was into girls too, or maybe he was just into girls. "Oh shit, what am I thinking? Why do I care? He's just a friend and we just happen to have a good chemistry... ... ... shit"

Jun punched him lightly on the arm and shouted, "Just go over to him for goodness sake! Don't think so much, just go!"

"But he's busy talking to that girl, I don't want to interrupt"

Jun looked over to Jason and said, "He's not talking! He's dancing! Look!"

Now that was a sight. Jason could really move. Seyoon didn't know what to think about this. Jason was dancing with the girl. And he was dancing real nice. He was happy the girl wasn't clinging to Jason but he didn't feel all too happy about that sight.

"I'm gonna get a drink! Do you want one too?"

"Yes! I want a Red Bull-Vodka!"

"I'll get you a beer"

Jun drinking Red Bull-Vodka was never a good idea, Seyoon didn't feel like having to take care of a wasted Jun tonight. He did, however, want some hard liquor himself.

Seyoon went back with a beer for Jun and a White Russian for himself. He also bought a tequila shot for himself that he drank at the bar. He needed it.

Jun wasn't where he left him. "This guy really. Does he have to move around so much when he knows I'm getting him a drink?" Seyoon was annoyed at everything right now and drank up his White Russian in a few gulps and put away his empty glass. He saw Jun dancing close to the stage as if he was dancing for the DJ to see him. Understandably because DJ H.One wasn't just a DJ he was also a gorgeous model.

Jun thankfully took the beer from Seyoon and gulped down half of it right away.

"You know, if you're that thirsty from dancing you should drink water, not beer"

"You know. If you're that thirsty for Jason, you should just go get him, not stand here!"

Jun laughed loudly at his own joke he was folding himself in half. Seyoon just looked at him getting out of breath from laughing.

"You know, you're not that funny"

"Sorry sorry but your face when I said that was just so hilarious! It's true, isn't it? You're a bit thirsty for Jason huh?" Jun's eyes were playfully watching what reaction Seyoon would give him.

"Why don't you just focus or reeling in the DJ for now ok?"

"He is beautiful, isn't he!? But I'm good with just the eye candy, thank you!"

Suddenly Jun started dancing again and pushed Seyoon in the process. Seyoon almost lost his balance stumbling backwards. There were so many people that he bumped into someone in the crown, at least he didn't fall. He turned around to say sorry to the person he bumped into and to his surprise he was now facing a smiling Jason.

"Oh, sorry, uh... Yeah um sorry"

"Heh, that's ok Seyoon, don't worry about it. I'll catch you so you won't fall"

"Again. He said my name again." This was messing with Seyoons mind. "And the way he said that. Is he flirting?? No... no no... He's just drunk, I'm just drunk"

Jason leaned close to Seyoons ear.

"Dance with me?"

Seyoon could only nod.

Jason started dancing to the beat and Seyoon followed. They both loved to dance. Seyoon was starting to feel a bit dizzy now and he recalled having downed that drink before. He regretted doing that. Jason was dancing with him and he didn't want to forget about this. The girl Jason was dancing with earlier was closing in on Jason from behind him. Seyoons heart fell when he saw her. This would mean his alone time with Jason would be over. Jason noticed Seyoons attention being caught by something behind him. He turned around.

Within two seconds Jason was dancing really up close and personal with Seyoon. Seyoons cheeks caught on fire. "What?! What's all this about? Oh, my god, he smells good. Oh my god. His hand is on my waist. What's going on!?!"

Then Jason pulled away from Seyoon.

"Oh gosh thank you! You just saved me from Clingy-as-hell-girl!"

Seyoons heart deflated completely. It was just for show. He should have gotten that from the start. He wanted to go home now. He was getting bitter and sad again plus he was getting a bit too dizzy from all the alcohol he'd had.

"Hey Jason, I think I'm gonna head home now. I'm getting a bit tired actually, and I have some things I have to do early tomorrow" Lies. They were all lies. He just wanted to go home and feel sorry for himself now. Maybe throw up all the nasty alcohol he was regretting.

"I'm fine with leaving too, is there any place to eat that is open now?"

"Um, yeah, there's a pizza and burger place open during weekend nights just around the corner from here"

"Awesome! Let's go get some food then! You should eat something before you go to bed, you'll feel better in the morning"

Seyoon told Jun they were leaving and Jun came with them. Some of their other friends also went with them, amongst others Jason's cousin Shownu. It was a good thing Shownu hadn't already left; Jason didn't have any keys for his house yet. That had been on their To-do-but-never-gets-done-list for a while now.

At the pizza and burger place, Seyoon ordered a burger to go. He just wanted to get home now. It was pretty cold out too and he wasn't wearing a warm jacket. It would take about 20 minutes to walk home. His burger would get cold but that's fine, he needed the cold air in his face to not throw up. The alcohol was really getting to his head now.

Everyone else also bought their food to go. Shownu lives only a 10-minute walk from the here so they decided to eat at home.

For now, everyone was walking the same direction. But soon it would be time for Seyoon to go the opposite direction. Seyoons costume was too cold. He was freezing even though he was drunk. He looked at Jason wearing his big oversized puffy coat. His mind started to wander to the don't-even-go-there parts of his brain. It went there. He really wanted to crawl into that big cosy jacket! Preferably with Jason still in it.

They came to the crossing and Seyoon turned to everyone and said his goodbyes. Jason looked like he was going to say something but kept quiet.

"Well, I'll go now, better run haha, so I'll get into the warmth faster right?" Seyoon tried to lighten his own mood by making lame small-talk-jokes. Everyone said bye and Jason finally spoke up.

"Hey, keep in touch ok? You said you'd show me around town sometime soon right?"

"Yeah, of course! I'll text you ok?"

Jason nodded.

Seyoon turned to cross the road. Once he had crossed it he started jogging. It felt so good to run. The cold was painful against his cheek and hands but it felt good to run. This way he'd be home faster. This way he could run away from his feelings for a moment. He slowed down for a moment to look back only to see Jason and his friends slowly walking the opposite direction.

\---  
Seyoon was lying in his bed. His head was spinning from the alcohol. His mind was spinning from his thoughts and his heart was spinning from all the chemicals that had gotten mixed because of the events of the evening. What was he supposed to do now? He just wanted to sleep for now, but the thought of seeing Jason again kept him awake.

"My tangled heart, I don't understand"


	2. -I'ts Not A Date-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "shit, I have no idea what he was talking about!" Seyoon tried to remember what Jason was talking about but there was nothing other in his memory than the fact that Jason was there, alone with him. "Um, oh, I'm so sorry I wasn't listening, what was the question?"
> 
> "haha, that's okay cutie, I was asking if you were free next weekend to show me around town. You haven't forgotten your promise right?"
> 
> \---
> 
> "I feel smaller when I'm in front of you. But I wanna see you now"   
> -Monsta X Amen
> 
> \---

It's Saturday morning, the day after the Halloween party. Seyoon had slept very poorly and his body was a mess after drinking too much hard liquor. Now he was like a walking zombie full of regret. Why did he have to drink that much? Was it even that much? hadn't it been just one cocktail and a shot? and then some beers. And did he drink some wine at one point as well? It's all coming back to him now. He drank a lot of different things last night. Why did he have to do that? Just because he felt a bit insecure and jealous at one point of the evening? Was he really that weak mentally that he had to drink to feel better? He should never drink when he feels like he needs to.

The water bottle seemed to take forever to fill up and all of a sudden the water was overflowing and pouring over onto his fingers cooling them down. Seyoon found himself staring out his window for no reason. He wasn't looking at anything in particular. Just looking through the glass and beyond. When Seyoon was a kid he often found himself alone in a park or on a set of swings. He would slowly swing or silently lie on the grass staring up at the sky. After a moment he would feel almost weightless and indestructible, but at the same time very insignificant. He was just one small human being on this earth, filled with millions more. This earth that was just one planet amongst many others. How big was the universe really? It was always at this thought that he woke up from his haze, feeling scared and calm at the same time, it made him less scared to follow his heart and dreams in life. Being this small and insignificant meant that there's nothing bad that could happen if his dreams never come true. It wouldn't matter to anyone else if he made something of himself in this life or not. But it would matter to him. He knew it would because he could feel. His feelings drive him to follow his dreams. If he tried his utmost it would be ok to fail. Cause what would it mean to fail? Nothing, as long he couldn't regret his efforts.

Seyoon went back to bed and slowly slipped back into a hazy slumber. He dreamed that kind of dream that was on the verge of reality. He could see Jason sitting next to him on the bench. Jason leaned close to him and kept repeating his name. Seyoon. Seyoon. Seyoon. Seyoon. The sound of Jason's voice was ringing in his ears. He could see Jason's eyes glimmering from the street lights as their eyes locked. Here in the dream, Seyoon was brave. He took hold of Jason's hand and made their fingers intertwine. Everything seemed to move at half speed. He turned to Jason to look at him more closely. He wanted to memorize every corner of his face. A single drop of rain landed on their joined hands. Another drop landed on his face, then another. Now he could feel the rain pouring down on his head. This made him wake up with a shock only to hear the roar of laughter. Jun.

Seyoon got up to get a towel to wipe off the access water Jun had poured on him.

"I should take back my spare key if it's going to be abused like this. What do you want Jun?"

Jun's laughter had turned into a high pitched giggle.

"Jun. Come on. Breath"

"Yeahaayeahhihii. Gosh, your face was so red I had to cool you down! What were you dreaming of really??" he managed to say in between his short of breath giggles.

Seyoon blushed and quickly put on a hoodie and a cap to hide his face.

"Nothing. I don't know. I don't remember"

"Mmhmmmm riiight"

"Why are you here?" Seyoon said humorlessly, trying to change the subject as fast as humanly possible.

"I just wanted to check in on you... Shownu said you ran home really fast. Apparently, Jason might have walked you home if you hadn't run so fast" Jun said teasingly.

"Lies"

"Truth! Honestly! Shownu told me!"

"Why would Shownu be awake this early?"

"Early?! Dude! It's 6 PM!"

The anxiety of having lost an entire day to sleep and feeling like the walking dead was knocking on his door made Seyoon get his energy back. It's hard to say if it was good that he got his energy back because of anxiety but at least he wanted to get away from the zombie-like state. While he took a hot shower and could feel the water sting on his skin his mind also woke up. Jason. He wanted to get in touch with him and make a date for the town-trip. Not a date... just decide on a time, make a schedule of activities and spend the whole day together. Was it too soon to get in touch with him today? maybe he should contact him tomorrow, It was tomorrow soon anyway. When Seyoon got out of the shower he was already planning the full day for him and Jason. A wide smile began to stretch across his face with the thoughts of their day together. He would first take him to his favourite museum, then they would have lunch at a restaurant close by. After their lunch, where he imagined they would sit for maybe an hour or two and have a lot of things to talk about, He would take him to a science centre he'd been to once. Last time he visited the science centre he hadn't had the time to really check it out. I was a place filled with animals from sharks and crocodiles to monkeys and exotic birds. Besides all the animals it also had a full floor dedicated to space and experiments. He was completely wrapped up in his own thoughts when he got out of the shower. Jun was apparently making some food cause he could hear some noises in the kitchen. Seyoon was only wearing sweatpants and had the towel over his head. He was casually drying his hair when he came into the kitchen. Jun was hidden behind the door to the fridge while searching for something.

"There's not gonna be much in there you know, I haven't had time to shop for groceries yet"

"I can see that"

Seyoon froze. That wasn't Jun's voice. He heard the front door close and Jun's voice now came from the hallway. The fridge door closed and Shownu looked at Seyoon.

"Sorry to startle you. hehe."

"Ah, hah... don't worry about it... but... why... ?... " Seyoon didn't wanna sound rude to ask why he was here and he really didn't want to ask what he really wanted to know. Did Shownu come here alone?

"Oh yeah, I forgot my hat here last night and when I called Jun he said that we should come over for some food!" Shownu casually kept looking through all the food Seyoon had. Sometimes he stopped to study the bottle or pack of something he'd never seen before.

"Yeeaaaaaaah!!!" Seyoon shrieked from the freezing cold hands that had been pressed against his back. He jumped around ready to break the person with the popsicle hands. Jun was too fast to jump out of the way at the same time as Seyoon was derailed from his previous path of revenge. Jason was laughing and walked into the kitchen. Seyoon couldn't tell what he felt now. His heart dropped? Did it jump out of his chest? If it did, how come he can feel it pounding? That all these chemicals could get mixed whenever he saw Jason was truly astonishing. How little it took to mess up the chemical system.

"Jun. It's not nice to do that you know" Jason said sternly. "Nor right."

Jun Kept giggling while hiding behind Shownu. Jason opened the freezer to put away the ice cream they bought.

"This is how you do it," He said and quickly ran up to Seyoon holding a bag of ice cubes. He pressed the bag against Seyoons stomach. Jun and Shownu were heard laughing with him while Seyoon hit a few high notes in his yelling frenzy. Seyoon was backing away as fast as he could but Jason was keeping up the pace. Finally, Seyoon managed to hit the ice bag out of Jason's hands just as he backed into the wall. Jason caught himself with one hand against the wall. When the bag was thrown out of his hands he almost fell onto Seyoon. While catching their breath from either laughing or screaming their eyes met. Seyoon noticed what a bright brown colour Jason's eyes were. Maybe it was just the way the light hit his eyes but they were almost a golden brown colour.

"Haha, Sorry Seyoon, I just couldn't resist when I saw the ice pack in the freezer" Jason's laugh was mixed with his breath trying to catch up.

Seyoons heart quickly warmed him up from the simple fact that Jason had said his name. Astonishing.

"Hah... it's fine, now I'm definitely awake" Seyoon said with a smile. He felt more relaxed now.

Jason lingered a hundredth of a second with his eyes locked with Seyoons. That hundredth of a second felt like an eternity that ended too fast.

Seyoon went back to his room instead of following Jason into the kitchen. He could still hear the waves of laughter mixed with the retelling of Seyoons high pitched screams. This made him feel relaxed and warm to the core. The sound of friends amongst him, hanging out as if they were family.

While putting on a shirt Seyoon was trying to sort out his thoughts and feelings. He also changed from his sweatpants now that Jason was here. He put on a pair of black ripped skinny jeans and a black t-shirt, it wasn't tough to choose what to wear because most items in his wardrobe were black. So much had happened in such a short time. He met Jason for the first time last night but he felt like he had known him all his life yet he knew nothing about him. And the fact that he gets so flustered just by hearing Jason sound out his name. Seyoon wasn't stupid. He knew he liked Jason from the moment he shook his hand last night but he was still reluctant to admit to that. But admitting he didn't want to admit it was the same as admitting it. There was no way out now. He had to be honest with himself. "I like him. I like Jason like crazy. I've never felt this way about anyone before. Our chemistry is insane and he is so beautiful I can't think straight".

Seyoon returned to the kitchen and found Jun as the main cook, Jason was the sous chef. Right now the job of the sous chef was to cut the carrots into small stick size pieces. They were making chicken stir-fry. Shownu was sitting at the table with a full-on dad aura watching two kids cook, the kitchen was filling up with a delicious scent as the cooking progressed. Seyoon sat down at the table across from Shownu. They both sat in silence while watching Jason and Jun moving around in the kitchen. Jun had been in Seyoons kitchen as well as his own, if not better. Jason was attentive to Jun and what he would need next, so that when Jun asked for something Jason already had it done, The chopped onion, carrots, chicken and so on. Jun just had to put everything in the pan and make his own special sauce that made everything taste unbelievably good. Seyoon could only confirm the previous statement he'd made to himself. He really liked Jason. Watching Jason was such a wonderful sight. Jason was too occupied with what he was doing to notice Seyoon watching him which made Seyoon feel content at this moment, he wasn't worried about being good enough for Jason, nor did he have to worry about blushing everytime they locked eyes. Jason was wearing a simple white long sleeve shirt and black slim fit jeans, his hair was of a lighter brown - blonde colour. It seemed soft and bouncy, Seyoon imagined touching the hair.

"Hey, Seyoon" Shownu whispered. "Maybe we should help with making the table? Your ears are turning red, I think you should distract your thought maybe" Shownu smiled knowingly and teasingly.

Seyoon felt a bit embarrassed, but he got up and started putting plates on the table without giving Shownu much of a reply. There was nothing to be said really, Seyoon knew his poker face was non-existent and it was a good suggestion to get some distraction. Shownu smiled and ruffled Seyoons hair as he got up to put out their drinks for the meal.

Jason turned to look at Seyoon and Shownu. He lingered a few seconds when his eyes locked with Seyoon.

"Should we listen to some music?" His eyes went from Seyoon to Shownu and back to Seyoon, then he tilted his head ever so slightly. "hm?"

Shownu was faster to respond. Or, he didn't respond verbally, he just made his way to the speaker and plugged his phone in. Ariana Grande - Side to Side started playing. Shownu started dancing on his way back to the table. Just as the lyrics 'Doesn't matter, 'cause you give me temptation.' came on Seyoon met Jason's eyes. He could feel his cheeks flush. Jason put on a crooked smirk that made Seyoon stare down at the table. Now he could feel his cheeks getting even redder and heated. A mix of attraction and embarrassment filled his body and made his ears bright red. Jun had noticed their moment and decided to intervene.

"Hey Seyoon, Could you take over for me for just a sec. I need to use the bathroom"

Seyoon stared at Jun with a what-the-fuck-are-you-asking-me-to-do-can't-you-see-i'm-trying-to-hide-over-here-!!-look in his eyes. Jun just gave him the ladle, raised one eyebrow and simply said

"Thanks"

Jun left the room. Seyoon got up and started staring at the food in the frying pan.

"You know, it's called stir-fry, not stare fry, cutie," Jason said as he gave Seyoon a bump with his shoulder.

Seyoon was beginning to get frustrated with himself. "Can't I just enjoy liking him? do I have to turn into this massive spasm unable to even meet his eyes anymore!? AND DID HE JUST CALL ME CUTIE!? gosh, I'm so annoyed with myself right now... Ok. I should just enjoy feeling this way. I like him. He seems wonderful in fact. He doesn't like me the same way but that's ok. I can still enjoy his company. oh, my god, he called me cutie. My heart! IS POUNDING. Ok calm down, be cool... stir the food!"

"heh, ah, yeah..." was all the reply Seyoon could give him at this point. But hit frustration gave him more courage to actually start getting to know the guy. This was a perfect opportunity that Jun had given him, he shouldn't waste it.

"so, Jason... What do you do?"

"as a job you mean?"

"yeah"

"I mostly work part-time at restaurants, but now I'm here doing nothing at all" Jason laughed as if it should have been jokingly but Seyoon sensed something else in that laughter. Was blended with a pinch of fear?

"That's nice! So you take every day as it comes for now?"

"ah yeah, you could say that"

"Jason" Shownu piped in "Don't forget your modelling gig though! It's not like you just walk around here doing nothing right?"

"You model too? For who? Maybe I know them? Not that I know that many in the industry but I've done some modelling jobs from time to time"

"Some modelling!? From time to time? Seyoon. No lies. That's your main income AND you've even travelled because of it." Now it was Jun's turn to get into the conversation. He probably said this to make Seyoon look better in front of Jason. Seyoon could only give off a little smile. He didn't want to talk about himself now, he wanted to know more about Jason. And he didn't want to come across as some kind of special someone within the industry, his main focus was dancing, not modelling. but the industry seemed to like his looks more than his moves.

After dinner, they were all satisfyingly stuffed and chatting away casually. Shownu got a text message. When he read it his eyes began to sparkle. This was such a rare sight that everyone at the table got quiet and stared at Shownu with questioning expressions.

"Shownu. Tell" Jun demanded. followed by approving nods from Jason and Seyoon. "Who in this world makes you have such an expression?!"

"heh... just someone" Shownu smiled as he gave them his vague reply. Shownu was never much for talking, but whenever he was saying things the words carried weight.

"Someone we know??" Jun tried to dig deeper into this mystery someone.

Shownu angled his head and turned his eyes upwards as to think. "I think you might know of him, but you don't know him"

"Shownu! Spill the beans! NOW!" Jun was always so eager to get the beans first hand.

"haha, calm down Jun, In due time I'll tell you. But for tonight I think I'm going to go. That's ok right Jason? You remember where we put the key outside the apartment right? And you find your way back home?"

"Yeah, it's fine, I remember and I can find my way, don't worry, you go have fun, I won't wait up" Jason replied while wearing a knowing smile.

Jun was oblivious to the fact that Jason seemed to know who this someone was. Although Seyoon had noticed. After Shownu had left Seyoon took care of the dishes. Jun was changing the music and Jason came to help with the dishes. Seyoon was becoming a bit more comfortable, especially since he was doing the dishes. It meant he had to focus on other things than to daydream about Jason's beautiful and seemingly soft hair. Jason came to help Seyoon with the dishes. This was a good time to ask.

"You know who he's meeting right?" Seyoon asked with a quiet voice.

Jason paused for a second to look at Seyoon. Seyoon met his eyes and raised his eyebrows as to urge the answer to his question. Jason nodded, he knew.

"Does he seem like a good person?" Seyoon didn't care much about the who as in names, more about the who as in personality.

Jason nodded and said "Flirty, but harmless"

Seyoon nodded and continued with the dishes. When they were done they all gathered in the living room to watch a movie. Before the movie began Jason went to the bathroom. Jun was fast as lightning to talk to Seyoon.

"Do you want me to leave? Or should I make it less obvious and become tired after half the movie? yeah, I think that's better. I'll sit on the floor so you and Jason can have the couch.. or maybe a should sit on one side so you two have to sit closer. Yes. That's good."

"Jun, it's fine, sit wherever you want, watch the whole movie too please, you don't have to do this. Yeah, I admit I like him but that doesn't mean it's mutual. Don't make anything out of this ok? I just wanna enjoy the movie with the both of you"

Jun stared at Seyoon with disapproval. "Seyoon! Don't start with that talk again! What do you mean not mutual?! It's obvious you guys have chemistry! It's actually amazing how your chemistry is even noticeable for everyone else in the room! How can you not realise this??" Jun was struggling to keep his voice down, he was getting frustrated with Seyoon always thinking as if he wasn't good enough or whatever the problem was.

"Yes I agree we have chemistry like no other, and I'm not saying he doesn't like me at all, I'm just saying it's fine to hang out as friends too" Seyoon simply stated facts.

"But Seyoon" Jun started obviously annoyed but he was interrupted when he heard that Jason was on his way back to the living room. But he wasn't giving up on doing everything he could to get those two together. They were obviously a great fit for each other. Shownu had said the same thing and he knows both Seyoons and Jason well enough to be able to say anything about it.

It was getting close to midnight and only now were they starting the movie. Jason had recommended a movie called 'Movie 43' that is said to be one of the worst movies of all time even though it was packed with Hollywood top stars. Seyoons had a three-seat chaise couch. Jun was first in half lying on the couch so that the chaise part was available for the other two. Seyoon gave him a look of 'really?' and sat on the floor in the corner of the chaise. Jason placed himself half lying in the corner on the chaise. He cuddled up with one of Seyoons fluffy pillows. Seyoon started the movie and he did feel a longing to change spots with that pillow that Jason was holding on to. The movie was really bad, it wasn't making it easier for Seyoon to hold off the daydreaming thoughts. And it got even worse when Jun's phone rang, the person on the other end of the line got his or her way when Jun agreed to meet them. Jun tried to cover it up by saying he'd forgotten his promise to meet them but it was obvious he was leaving now to give Seyoon and Jason some privacy.

"Seyoon" Jun shouted from the hallway as he was heading out. "Don't sit on the floor! you'll catch a cold!" Then the door closed and they were alone.

Seyoon was feeling a bit tired even tho he'd slept practically all day. Being close to someone you liked could be pretty draining sometimes, especially when all you wanted to do was to hug that person. To feel the embrace of that person would surely recharge your energy again.

"He's right, you shouldn't sit on the floor" Jason simply stated.

Seyoon got up and sat on the other side of the couch, too shy to sit too close. The movie was still rolling but Seyoon still couldn't focus at all. Jason was looking all too cuddly.

"Seyoon" Jason said while patting the space between himself and the edge of the couch. He had removed the pillow and was welcoming Seyoon to lie down next to him.

Seyoon felt his entire body tingle from the mix of nervousness and happiness going through him. He went to lie down next to Jason. He wanted to get completely entangled with Jason but he held himself at bay and lied down on his back. Jason's arm was under his neck and that was all he could think about. Jason started talking about what was going on in the movie and Seyoon was nodding and agreeing even though he wasn't really paying attention. His attention was completely absorbed by the fact that he was lying so close to Jason. Jason was gesturing with his hand while he spoke and then casually let it rest on top of Seyoons stomach. This was making Seyoon crazy. Being so close but still, he couldn't do what he wanted. He would be fine with just hugging.

"..or? what do you say?" Jason asked.

"shit, I have no idea what he was talking about!" Seyoon tried to remember what Jason was talking about but there was nothing other in his memory than the fact that Jason was there, alone with him. "Um, oh, I'm so sorry I wasn't listening, what was the question?"

"haha, that's okay cutie, I was asking if you were free next weekend to show me around town. You haven't forgotten your promise right?"

"ah yes! no! I mean, No a haven't forgotten my promise, and yes I'm free next weekend."

"that's good," Jason said.

The tension was getting unbearable. Seyoon had to do something to break it. "This movie is so strange" That was all he could come up with.

"I know right! Is incredible how they could get these actors to sign up for this movie! Did they not read the script or what!?" It was apparent that Jason liked to discuss movies while watching them, that's fine for Seyoon too but he usually liked to watch movies in silence, hence the reason he usually watches them alone, even at the movie theatre.

They kept up the discussion for a while but then fell silent again, the tension wasn't as tangible although it was still there.

Seyoon couldn't hold back his yawn, his eyes were starting to get heavy, but he really wanted to stay awake. Obviously not for the sake of the movie. Jason was also falling asleep next to him. He could feel Jason shift a bit next to him so he shifted with him as to give him more space. He was really close to the edge now. Jason took a firm grip on his shoulder and made him turn to his side. Seyoon was now lying facing Jason, he could see even the strands of his eyelashes. Jason's eyes were closed and it looked as if he was about to fall asleep. Seyoon rested his head on Jason's shoulder with his face hidden at the nape of Jason's neck. He smelled really good. He was warm and relaxed. This was really really nice but being this close to Jason's neck made it difficult for Seyoon to relax completely. Jason hugged him tighter as if he could feel how he was struggling to relax. Seyoon tilted his head upwards to escape one temptation only to be met by another. Jason had tilted his head downwards at the same time as Seyoon tilted his up. Their lips were just millimetres apart. Jason was completely relaxed. "Is he not getting affected by this at all?" Seyoons thoughts were spinning a mile a minute. "Oh my gosh, he is so close... I really want to kiss him. This is a great opportunity, right? He wouldn't have pulled me this close if he just wanted to snuggle? Or maybe he just wanted that? He seems too relaxed to be thinking about kissing me... But I really want to kiss him. Should I just go for it? What if I ruin the moment? .... but.... what if I never get another opportunity like this?"

Seyoon stretched his neck to get closer and slowly met Jason's lips.

.

.

.

____________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter! 
> 
> Next chapter is planned to be published on April 1st. 
> 
> Chapter 3 - The Town Tour-


	3. -The Town Tour-

The text between Seyoon and Jason

 

Monday:

Seyoon: Hey! What's up?

"I wonder what he's doing.... maybe he got a modelling gig or something...."

Tuesday:

"Should I text him again today? Maybe he's busy... I shouldn't bother him. I hope everything is ok.... I hope I didn't make him feel uncomfortable because of the kissing..... but he kissed me back.... he really really kissed me back.... oh gosh he's a good kisser.... but.... why isn't he replying? Gosh, stop it Seyoon. He has a life too, you're not his centre of attention you know... just chill"

Wednesday:

Seyoon was folding the laundry. He liked having his clothes neatly organised even ho it rarely happened, but now he had to do something productive that would show some kind of result. Not getting a reply from Jason was tearing at him. But the one negative thing about folding laundry. It made room for all those thoughts to emerge.

"Should I ask Shownu what's going on? But that would be too much... it's not like there's anything going on between us anyway... we just had a thing Saturday night and then we slept. He did hug me so hard in his sleep. I wanna go back to that time! But he was acting a bit off on Sunday morning... maybe he's not a morning person. I shouldn't ask Shownu. I'll wait. It's only Wednesday."

Thursday:

Seyoon: Hey, I hope everything is good with you, I just wanna check if we're still on for Saturday?

"Ok. I sent it. Is it not too much? No no... I'm just asking about our plans. Just a simple question. It's ok.... oh! He read my messages! ... wait... Is he not replying? Well, maybe he's busy. I know I do that sometimes... I read but I don't have time to reply... I really should stop doing that... "

Friday:

Seyoon heard the ping sound on his phone and as always his heart and stomach spun into a thousand sailor knots. Usually, the knots were untied by the slight disappointment that the text had been from someone other than the one he was waiting to reply. This time was no different except for said awaited reply had come. The knots tightened. Seyoon opened the message from Jason, expecting to see an excuse to why they wouldn't be able to meet.

Jason: Hey! Sorry yeah! Sure we're still on for Saturday.

Seyoon: Great! You'll come to my house around 10 then? We could start with some fuller breakfast at my house so that we have a lot of energy for the day! :D

Seyoon saw the three little dots hopping, The dots that indicated that Jason was typing something. The dots were hopping, disappearing, hopping again. Hopping for a long while but no reply came. Hours passed. it was almost midnight when the reply came.

Jason: Sure. See you then.

"Is he ok?..."

____________________

Seyoon was sitting on his couch waiting. He woke up at an obnoxiously early hour but couldn't fall back asleep, he tried reading a book but couldn't focus on the words. He tried getting a glass of water and going back to bed, didn't work. He even tried to meditate. It was all useless. Bottom line was that he was too nervous for the day. He decided to do some more cleaning in his apartment. He liked having it neat and tidy, he could even light some scented candles cause he liked his home to smell nice. Even though he'd kept busy cleaning, taking a long shower and ironing his shirt he was still ready to leave with an hour to spare. Now all he found himself doing was sitting on the couch feeling his nerves tensing. His thoughts went back to what had happened last time.

\---

It had been a week since Jason spent the night with him. They had kissed and cuddled, fallen asleep in each other's arms. The morning after Seyoon got up before Jason to make breakfast. When Jason came into the kitchen he was silent. When he walked past Seyoon to get a cup for his coffee he was just functioning for the purpose of getting the cup to hold the coffee. Seyoon had found himself being met by Jasons slow walk towards the table. He reached out to give him a hug. Seyoon held him tight and cuddled him, then he'd noticed there was no response, his back was feeling cold from the lack of Jason's hands. A pebble-sized lump had formed in Seyoon's gut.They both had sat down to have breakfast, only Seyoon ate. Jason took a small bite and seemed to chew it for the remaining 15 minutes that the meal lasted. They talked about the weather, about Seyoons next modelling-gig. They decided that they would meet up at Seyoons house next Saturday to go out on the town tour that he had promised. Jason was very polite and seemed neutral when he told Seyoon he had to get back to Shownus place since they had some plans for the day. Seyoon felt the lump in his stomach consume the warmth his body had felt since their kiss and grow into a noticeable rock. Something felt off. He couldn't put his finger on it.

"Did he regret kissing me back? Did he regret staying over? But if he did regret it... why would he agree to meet me on Saturday? Or was he really just polite and felt obligated to go with me? Aish... I'll never get an answer to this. Better not think about it.... I need to go for a run.."

That day Seyoon had been running for 2 hours before he went home. His mind needed to be cleared and it had proven more difficult than he'd thought. He hadn't been running for two hours non stop, sometimes he walked, sometimes he found himself near a pretty scenery in the forest and had stopped to take it all in. Sit by a tree. Feel the leaves. He was sure their feelings had been the same at night. Why was the morning so different?

\---

The bell from his door brought him back to the now. His hand felt wet and cold. He took a deep breath and opened the door.

Jason was wearing black jeans, a yellow-brown check shirt, black cap, glasses and a black coat. He looked really stylish and comfortable at the same time. Seyoon was met by his beautiful smile and he thought he could see some sparkles in Jason's eyes. The nervous feeling he'd had was completely gone thanks to the sight of Jason. It was enough to see him smile to make him feel all better again.

They started the day by having an easy breakfast as Seyoons place then they left for the museum. Jason had once mentioned that he liked photography and luckily Seyoon had found out that his favourite museum in town had an exhibition showing from a famous photographer.

Jason had started showing a different side of himself today. He'd started showing excitement. And Seyoon found it so adorable he wanted to hug Jason all the time. But he was happy enough with having the privilege to witness it. There had been many times that Seyoon was looking at Jason more than the pictures. A few times he'd been caught when Jason suddenly had turned around to tell Seyoon something interesting about how the picture was taken or how pretty the light had fallen in the image. Instead of feeling embarrassed or turning away his eyes Seyoon had kept his eyes locked with Jason and the moment had turned sweet. They would end up smiling towards each other. Seyoon would sometimes ask about other pictures and let Jason ramble on. He'd never guessed that Jason would be so knowledgeable about this kind of thing. It was a wonderful thing to learn, it made Seyoon fall even deeper in love with Jason.

After the exhibition, they went to the restaurant at the museum to get some lunch. The food was amazing, but most foods do get tastier when consumed together with someone you like.

After they were done with lunch they both got a coffee each and were now taking it easy, chatting casually before their next stop at the science centre. A waitress came up to their table. She asked if they were happy with everything. They both nodded politely to show their content about the lunch they'd just had. She turned to Jason, flicked her hair and put on a ridiculously wide smile. She was obviously trying to flirt with him.

"Have you been enjoying the exhibition at the museum?" She said while she was trying to turn on the sparkles in her eyes. "her eyes are going to pop out of her head if she tried any harder.... pfff...." Still, Seyoon felt a small nibble of jealousy.

"Yes, We have, thank you" Jason replied wearing a beautiful smile.

".... Damn, that's a beautiful smile.... but could you... like... not... towards her?" Seyoon was getting annoyed, both at the situation and at himself. He didn't like this feeling of jealousy. He'd never been that kind of guy before, and he never wanted to be one either.

"So what's next? Now that you've had some yummy lunch, do you have something else planned for the day?" Her voice was reaching a higher pitch.

"Yeah, my friend and I are going to the science centre next." Jason gestured towards Seyoon while still politely answering her questions and smiling beautifully.

"I'd rather hear 'boy' in front of that friend....." Seyoon wanted to interrupt their conversation but often when he wanted to say something the words wouldn't be formed so he just kept silent.

"Oh, are you guys maybe on a... Date?" she asked with so much hope showing in her eyes. Hope that he'd say no and run away with her right now.

".. girl you desperate?..."

"Nah it's nothing like that, I'm new in town so he's showing me around for the day. Actually, we'd better get going so we'll have more time to spend at the science centre." Jason said with a nice but stern voice.

Seyoons mind went blank. His brain was too busy patching up the holes in his chest. The words said by Jason were nothing special in reality, but still, he felt hurt and discouraged. He knew this wasn't a date, but apparently, he had hoped it would have been one anyway. It all felt like a date. Even now, after Jason clearly had stated that it was not a date. Them hanging out together going to the museum, having lunch, next stop would be the science centre, just the two of them. It was all screaming D A T E.

When they came to the science center Jason was acting just as adorable as he had been doing all day. He was just like all the kids around the place. This science centre was filled with animals as well as space-related things. The underground floor was an aquarium, a floor above it was reptiles, then came the monkey, then the birds and lastly space related things and experiments. Jason seemed to really like seeing all the animals. So much so he didn't notice when Seyoon took a picture of him. He only dared to take one secret picture because he wasn't a creep but he was also too shy to ask for a picture together with Jason. Seyoons emotions were all over the place after lunch. But he could still feel a sort of contentment whenever Jason was smiling.

After their time spent with the animals, they got into the elevator to go up to the space centre at the top of the building. It was getting late now, the centre would close in about an hour. Seyoon didn't want the day to end.

While in the elevator Seyoon felt the need to say something. the day would soon be over and he was well aware of his feelings for Jason. He'd been contemplating whether or not he should say something or not.

"Jason," Seyoon said quietly as if he was hoping he wouldn't be heard.

"Hm?" Jason said. The elevator was quiet and it was just the two of them in it.

"Um, I was, I, Um, What, How"

Jason chuckled a bit because of Seyoons indecisiveness.

"Yes, Seyoon?"

"... oh..... did you have to say my name... don't look at me! I can feel my cheeks heating up!"

"heh.. Are you having a good time today?" He took a safe way. This wasn't the time nor the place to confess anything.

Jason was looking at Seyoon, clearly taking in every inch and shade of blush of his face. Seyoon was looking else were as if to hide his blush just by turning his eyes away.

"Seyoon, what's on your mind right now?" Jason was teasing him.

"Nothing at all, I'm just not sure if you've had a good day, I mean you seemed to have fun, so I guess you did have a good day? Maybe it was obvious now that Iäm thinking about it... Well.. then never mind my question... heh.."

The doors of the elevator opened and Seyoon hurried out of it faster than the doors opened. he had to turn sideways to get out without hitting the doors. Jason followed.

"oh.. wha... whe..." Seyoon had frozen to a halt. They'd gotten off on the wrong floor. This floor was under construction. The workers had left for the day so it was dark, dusty and had a strong smell of paint.

"Something tells me this isn't the right floor hmm?" Jason was talking with a low teasing voice close to Seyoons ear. He was so close that Seyoon could feel Jason's breath as he spoke.

"uhm.. No, It's not.." Seyoon turned back to the elevator. It was closed. He pressed the button. Now just wait. He could sense Jason's presence next to him.

"Seyoon. You should breathe cutie"

Seyoon let out his breath. He hadn't even been aware of the fact that he'd been holding his breath. His mind was already a mess and not only did he blush because Jason had said his name, now he called him cute too. This was getting very difficult to handle. This as is Seyoons emotions and his wanting to grab ahold of Jason and just hold him tight, feel the warmth of his body. Smell the shampoo on his hair. The cologne from his neck.

"yeah, sorry, heh, I guess I got a bit flustered by getting off at the wrong floor," He said while dragging his fingers through his hair, ending up massaging his neck as if a bit embarrassed.

Jason gently put his hand on Seyoons arm and was looking at him as if he was checking that Seyoon was really okay.

"Seyoon, don't worry about it. You okay?" Jason had a slight concern in his voice.

"yeah.. just .. yeah I'm good I'm just a bit you know....um" He scratched his head. "I... you know, I'm kind of just a little flustered, but it's ok!

"About getting off on the wrong floor?" Jason gently asked

"Nah not at all" Seyoon didn't know how to continue that. He had just lost his excuse to why he was flustered.

"Hm?" Jason wanted to know the reason

"I... um... " Seyoon got annoyed with himself and took a deep breath. " It's just that we have this crazy chemistry and it's totally affecting me" He'd blurted it out "In a good way of course!" he quickly added. "I'm just not used to it"

Jason was quiet. He'd taken his hand off from Seyoons arm.

Seyoon got a cold feeling in his gut. He turned to look at Jason. "Or maybe it's just me?" It was his turn with the questions now.

"Nah, I agree, we do have kind of a crazy chemistry" Jason turned towards the elevator that had just opened the doors. "But you know, It's really just chemicals"

The cold froze to ice inside Seyoons gut and it spread like a freezing wildfire throughout his veins.

"he really doesn't think we have anything... this really isn't a date. What was I thinking? Why did I allow myself to hope?!"

Seyoon smiled. "Yeah, exactly!" he said trying to convince himself more than Jason that he was on the same page as him.

He got into the elevator and the doors closed. The rest of the ride was quiet. 

.

.

.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be in about 2 weeks.
> 
> I'm sorry about the short chapter. this time was a real struggle! Thank you writers' block! Nice to get to know you, but now please leave!
> 
> Also, I'm surprised at the turns this story is taking! I can't wait to see what will happen in the next chapter! Will I be able to stay with my outline or will the characters decide for themselves yet again?! 
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for reading <3


	4. Chapter 4 - Consuming, Confusing -

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wowson continues! This chapter also has more Showki story development.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off I'd like to say sorry for the unplanned month-long hiatus that happened. Hopefully, This won't happen again! I too need to know how this story will continue! Even though the outline is done for all (7) chapters (for pt.1) the story has started taking on its own life!

4

\- Consuming, Confusing -

____________________

"My walls are closing in

Without a sense of confidence"

Crawling by Linkin' Park

____________________

Seyoon felt deflated after their day at the museum and the science centre. The struggle began after lunch. After the waitress had been flirting with Jason. After Jason had called them just friends. After it had become clear that it was not a date. They were just friends. He was also guessing that Jason did indeed regret their time together that night, even though nothing had really happened. While thinking about the day they'd spent together it became extremely clear to him that it was a one-sided love. His memories of the day consisted more of looking at Jason from behind rather than seeing Jason's face.

He was always considerate of Jason's needs if he might be thirsty Seyoon would get him a bottle of water. If he would get cold, Seyoon would easily offer him his own scarf. He just had this kind of mindset naturally towards Jason.

Now he knew. And he would accept the fact that he'd fallen in love with Jason but he would never get to be Jason's boyfriend, he wouldn't even get to be more than he was right now. A friend that he'd made out with for awhile and fallen asleep next to. But that make out session was also conflicting him. It had seemed so emotional and real. Was Jason that good at acting? Or was he thinking of someone else at the time? The hard and cold lump grew in Seyoons gut at the thought of that.

_____________________

 

Seyoon and Jun were on their way to the bowling alley. They'd been invited by Shownu to join him and the mysterious flirt that always made his eyes sparkle from something as simple as a text message. Getting Shownu to just react was even harder than scaring Seyoon, so this someone must mean a lot to Shownu. Since Jun was such a scaredy cat he'd set his mind to manage to scare his friends. But his closest friends happened to be Seyoon and Shownu. Seyoon did at least say "that surprised me" the last time he'd tried to scare him but Shownu just looked at him and asked if he needed help with anything, it was a pointless struggle that Jun was never giving up on. Too many times had he fallen to the floor from them scaring him. The worst part was that they'd never intended to scare him. They'd just simply come into the room when he wasn't expecting them to. One time Jun had gone over to Seyoons apartment and gotten so scared that he jumped and hit his shoulder so hard on the wall that it left a bruise for a week. What had happened was that he and Seyoon often went to each other's apartments and would just walk in, they had each other's spare key and had always texted before going over. So It was nothing strange about Jun using Seyoons key to go into his apartment, but Jun hadn't been expecting Seyoon to stand in the hallway when he opened the door which led to Jun jumping, hitting his shoulder on the wall, yelling and falling over from the scare. Seyoon had only looked at Jun with a small amused smile.Jun opened the door to the bowling alley.

"Who do you think it is?" Seyoon asked

"I have my suspicions but I'm not completely sure, Shownu is pretty hard to read when it comes to this kind of thing... but I think it might be that photographer from the club" Jun replied.

"The pink haired guy!?" Seyoon asked surprisingly "oh.... I hope he's a good guy..." he added hesitantly. He remembered how that guy had been taking his picture during the night when he'd been dressed up as Edward Scissorhands. He thought the guy had been too flirty that night. But at the same time. He was a photographer and they could often come across as flirty to get good reactions from their models. Seyoon put that thought out of his mind and decided to trust in Shownus judgement.

"Yeah, that guy, he seems to have kind of a flirty personality, I just hope it stops at that... for Shownu's sake. He seems really interested in the guy, to be honest" Jun said while trying to keep the concern out of his voice.

When they came to the bowling alley Shownu, Chan and Donghun were already there putting on their bowling shoes. Chan saw Jun and Seyoon and ran up to them like a little puppy seeing a toy he wanted to play with.

"Heeey! You're here!" Chan called out excitedly.

"Yeeey we're heeere" Jun called back just as excitedly and they were both jumping around like they hadn't seen each other for years. Seyoon laughed at their silliness.

They split into two teams by randomly deciding through a simple game of Rock Paper Scissors. The first team consisted of Donghun and Seyoon. The other with Shownu, Jun and Chan. They ordered a few beers and nachos to snack on during their game and got ready to play.

"Hey Shownu, where's the guy? Wasn't he joining us tonight? I'm really excited to meet him!" Jun asked while adding a small squeal at the end of the sentence.

"Yeah, he's on his way" Shownu replied.

For anyone who didn't know Shownu, they wouldn't think anything about his behaviour. But his closest friends could see he looked slightly nervous, meaning he was probably filled with knotted nerves. Jun got closer to Shownu so he wouldn't have to be so loud. "you okay there?" But all he got as a response was a frozen and muted Shownu with eyes glued to something behind Jun. Jun turned around and instantly knew what had caught Shownus eyes. Or more like who. Jun looked back to the still frozen Shownu, and again, for any outsiders, he might seem like he was just caught in a thought, but Jun could see how he internally was more like Tex Avery's ogling wolf. The pink haired guy wasn't pink haired anymore. He'd gotten a new hairstyle. An undercut with dark brown coloured hair, and he was wearing a leather jacket and a washed out rolling stones t-shirt and distraught skinny jeans.

Jun nudged at Shownu to wake him up from his trance. "Damn he looks gooood, that's him, right!? I was totally right! I knew it! it's the photographer!"

Without a word, Shownu grabbed a beer and headed towards Kihyun. Kihyun saw him and gave him such a dazzling smile he paused in his steps. Kihyun carried a pair of bowling shoes and went up to Shownu. "Hey" Shownu shyly greeted him. Kihyun was looking at Shownu and confidently said "Hey handsome, is that for me?" he pointed at the beer. Shownu straightens his back and gave Kihyun the beer. He seemed to get over his shyness, although his ears were glowing red at this point.

Seyoon came up to Jun and hurriedly whispered: "I've never seen shownu like this before!!!".

...Showki side story is to be continued...

____________________

Seyoon and Jason sat next to each other after dinner having a drink. Shownu and Jun were sitting opposite them, a new restaurant had opened next door and after their amazingly delicious dinner, they came one of the newer clubs in town. The new club was a merge between a chill lounge bar and a dance club. Some random ppl come up to their table. A cute guy sat next to Seyoon and is flirting heavily. Seyoon enjoys the attention cause he really needed to feel appreciated right now. especially with the lingering feelings of disappointment from his town-tour-day with Jason, during dinner, they'd been like friends hanging out, nothing more, nothing less. Jason is drinking quite a bit and is pretty tipsy right now. The guy flirting with Seyoon asked if Jason and he are a thing? Seyoon replies "not at all... we're just friends"

"Oh? You really have a freakishly strong chemistry though. But I'm happy to hear that. Can I buy you another drink?"

"Sure! Thank you" Seyoon replies with a polite smile.

"Naaaah! It was my turn Seyooon!" Jason suddenly cried out tugging on Seyoons shoulder.

"Your turn?" Seyoon couldn't help finding Jason adorable when he was pouting in his drunken state.

"Yeah! My turn!" He said childishly and pouted even more

"To buy me a drink?!"

"Yessssssss! I'm going to buy you a drink now! Now I say! Right now!" He hopped down from his high chair and Seyoon couldn't help to laugh at his cute behaviour.

Seyoon turned to the guy that had been flirting with him. The guy looked at him with suspicion and asked "Just friends?"

"Yes yes, honestly just friends" Seyoon said while still chuckling "I'm sorry he apparently had his mind set on buying me a drink. How about I buy one for you instead?" Seyoon was flirting back. But it felt good. Even though he didn't really care for the guy, he didn't feel anything but he could at least give him a chance. The guy gave him a wide smile and was happily accepting the offer.

Seyoon got down from his chair and walked over to the bar. There was an empty space next to Jason who seemed to be flirting with the bartender now. Seyoon stood next to Jason when he got the attention of the other bartender. He asked for a beer. Jason turned to him. "hey! I'm buying for you-you know!" he almost shouted

"yes Jason I know, this isn't for me though. I'll enjoy drinking whatever you buy for me cutie" Seyoon felt brave after getting so much attention and seeing Jason in this cute tipsy state.

When Seyoon was about to return to the table Jason suddenly grabbed his arm and pulled him close to whisper something in his ear. "You should be careful with what you call me... Cutie." It made Seyoon swallow hard. Jason seemed completely sober. Seyoon had to blink a few times before he met Jason's eyes. He became conflicted with what he saw glinting in Jason's eyes. Were they filled with... desire?

Seyoon was first to return to the table. He gave the beer to the guy he was flirting with and they continued their conversation. Jason got back shortly after and came from behind Seyoon, he put his chin on Seyoons shoulder. Seyoon could feel his hand on his waist while he saw the other hand put a fancy drink in front of him on the table. Jason ignored the guy Seyoon was talking to when he whispered: "Here you go... cutie..." Then he went back to his seat and jumped right into being social and flirty with everyone around him. Seyoon was flustered and couldn't listen to what the guy in front of him was saying. He politely excused himself to go to the bathroom. He needed to breathe.

"Shit. SHIT JASON. Why does he affect me so damn much! I feel so freaking weak when I get this easily affected. Especially when I can't affect him the same way!". Seyoon was looking at himself in the bathroom mirror while taking a few deep breaths to calm down.

Seyoon went back to the table. The guy he'd been talking to was smiling at his return. That felt nice, even though he wasn't really into the guy, he was nice to talk to. He did help keep his mind, or mainly his eyes, off of Jason.

After Seyoon finished his drink he began feeling a bit dizzy, maybe he drank it up a bit too fast. The guy he'd been talking to was moving in and out of blurriness. He could sense a hand on his shoulder. Good, someone was gonna help him get some air, he had asked for help right? His eyesight was getting worse. Shit what had been in that drink. He needed the bathroom again. After a few wobbly steps, he didn't know how he got into the bathroom, he was slipping in and out of consciousness. He needed to throw up. Someone was helping him, he was thankful for that. Suddenly he could feel the cold hard wall against his back, he threw his head back and could feel the vibrations from hitting his head but there was no pain. he was starting to feel numb although his mind was somewhat clear from time to time. It was his body that wasn't responding. It was dark. He was closing his eyes. He tried to open them but all he saw was a mess, nothing was staying still in front of him whenever he opened his eyes. It was as if the room had been filmed and the tape was snagged so the same scene was flicking up, up, up, over and over again. Just like when an old movie would break. The difference was that he couldn't just push the stop button now. How was he even standing up when parts of his body felt numb? He tried to open his eyes again and now he could see someone being very close to him. The guy he'd been talking to was holding him up, he was helping him stand. Why wasn't he letting him sit somewhere? Suddenly it became difficult to breathe, something was over his mouth. Now it was on his neck. What's going on? next time Seyoon tried to open his eyes he noticed his shirt was open, then his eyes were too heavy again. His conscious state was getting shorter and more limited as each second slipped by. Now he could only hear sounds from time to time. It was as if his mind was the only thing working. He couldn't feel his body at all anymore.

He could hear ruffling and heavy breathing.

Someone was shouting.

He heard glass shattering.

"Seyoon!"

He heard his name. But he didn't have a body that would listen to him now, there was nothing he could do but listen to the voice calling his name.

"SEYOON!"

"Why is he shouting so loudly?"

He heard other people talking. Someone was on the phone. Someone was shouting.

"NO! Shownu! Don't hit him! Just hold him! I'll get the guards! Jason, Are you calling? I'll be right back! Don't hit him!" Jun's voice was easily recognisable but it was also tainted with a seldom heard desperation.

"Yeah, Hello we need an ambulance, my friend seems to have been drugged and it seems pretty bad. He's not responding but he's breathing. Yes, we are at.... "

____________________

His eyes were blurry.

It was dark.

Seyoon blinked a few more times.

He felt something was stuck on his finger. He tried to take it off but he was really weak. Someone took hold of his hand.

"Seyoon. Are you awake? Can you hear me?"

Seyoon slowly opened his eyes, it felt like they'd been glued together. Everything was blurry. He blinked a few times until he saw that Jason was sitting next to him.

"where...." Seyoons voice was cracking. His mouth felt dry.

Jason reached for a glass of water for Seyoon and held up the straw to Seyoons lips, making it easier for him to drink.

"What happened?" He ended up asking. He could see he was in the hospital so asking where he was would be stupid.

"You were drugged. That fucking, I'm Gonna fucking kick his fucking head in if I ever see him again that bast..."

"Hey, hey, calm down" Seyoon tried to sit up

"Oh Seyoon, lie back down please!" Jason's anger instantly turned into worry.

"I'm ok Jason. Let me sit, my back is aching like crazy, I need to sit for a bit" It was as if his entire body was in suspense, his skin felt overly sensitive but the worst part was the sore muscles.

"Just take it easy, I'll help you up ok." Jason sounded worried and was handling Seyoon as if he was made out of thin glass about to break.

"what time is it?" Seyoon asked as he sat up. He was already feeling better, except for being tired and sore. At least he could control his body and his mind was clearing up.

"It's about 5 in the morning. I'm just gonna get the nurse, will you be ok?"

"Hey, I'm not that fragile. I'll be okay" Seyoon was feeling annoyed. He didn't like feeling weak.

"Ok, I'll be right back ok!" Jason hurried out to get the nurse.

He came back with the nurse only shortly after he'd left. Seyoon hadn't had time to gather his thoughts or memories of the night. The nurse checked his blood pressure. Asked how he was feeling. Asked him to say his name and birthdate. The nurse told him he could leave whenever he felt strong enough and that he should take it easy for the next day, he should sleep if he felt like it and remember to eat slowly, nothing that would be too tough on the stomach because they'd had to pump his stomach when he'd gotten there.

After a while, Jason called a cab for them to take to Seyoons apartment. Seyoon felt strange. It was as if he was mentally completely awake but his body had been bulldozed. They got into the cab and rode it in silence. Jason's head slowly started tipping forward. He was falling asleep. Seyoon carefully reached out to guide his head towards the back of the seat, so he could rest his neck. Jason woke up and looked over at Seyoon. "Sorry! I must have dozed off." Jason seemed exhausted.

"Maybe you should go home and sleep? Have you slept anything at all tonight?"

"I've slept enough, It's ok and no I won't go home yet, Not until I've taken you home and I'm sure you're actually ok. I still think you left too early"

"The nurse said I could leave whenever I felt strong enough"

"Yeah, you need to get a reality check on what 'strong enough' really means." Jason gave Seyoon a stern look to show him he was not in the least joking about this.

Seyoon almost fell over as soon as they got into the apartment. Jason caught him in an embrace and held him tightly

"I told you! You left the hospital too early!" Jason scowled at him

"I'm ok Jason, I just tripped a little bit" he responded slightly out of breath from the walk up the stairs to his apartment.

"You need to go lie down right now Seyoon" the scowling continued, as well as the embrace.

Seyoon met Jason's eyes. Even in this state, he was caught by how beautiful they were. Sometimes when the sun would hit them they would show a glowing golden tone mixed with the deep brown.

"You need to let me go if you want me to lie down Jason" Seyoon quietly said while enjoying his moment in the embrace.

Jason let him go a little by little. As if he was afraid Seyoon would fall over. Seyoon smiled at his concern, it warmed his heart. He went into the kitchen.

"Hey, that's not the way to your bed!"

"No, but it's the way to my water"

Jason soon caught up to Seyoon in the kitchen and snatched the glass of water from his hand. The look on Seyoon was like a kid losing his lollipop.

"Heeey"

"You go lie down right now! I'll bring you your water!"

"But! But!"

"No buts! Now go!"

Seyoon was walking towards the bedroom and started chuckling

"There's nothing funny going on here Seyoon. Go to bed!"

Seyoon began to laugh "you are totally mom-ing me right now!" His laughter intensified. He thought Jason was way too adorable acting like this to keep it in. "You are so adorable! Hahahahaa!"

Jason wasn't laughing but he had to hold back from smiling.

Seyoon got into his bed and pulled the blanket up high. He reached out with both arms towards the glass of water.

"Look who's adorable now," Jason said with a crooked smile on his lips.

Seyoon couldn't reply, he was too busy drinking the water.

"Hey hey heeeey take it easy!" Jason took back that glass of water. He thought Seyoon was drinking too much too fast. Then he abruptly started laughing.

"What's up with that pout!!!! Aaah you're killing me here! Just go to sleep now will you!"

"Put down the glass and I will," Seyoon said while pointing to his bedside table.

"Promise me you won't swallow the glass whole?" Jason said while slowly putting the glass down. There was no reply. Jason pulled back the glass.

"Yes yes I promise," Seyoon said with an eye roll.

Jason put the glass down and walked around the bed to the other side.

"I better stay here until you fall asleep so I won't have to call the ambulance again due to you chewing up that glass"

Seyoon gave him the stink eye but felt happy about him staying a while longer. They both got comfortable and tried to go to sleep. Seyoons mind was filled with so many thoughts sleeping was impossible and Jason was staying awake as he'd promised.

"Seyoon, what's on your mind? I can tell you're thinking about something"

Seyoon was quiet for a long time to gather his words.

"Jason, do I remind you of someone?"

"Remind me of someone? What do you mean? Like a celebrity?"

"No, just anyone"

"Not at all, why do you ask?"

At least it was nice to know that he wasn't reminding Jason of someone else but it didn't help his conflicted mind. Jason was showing so many different sides of himself. Sometimes it seemed like he was really into Seyoon while other times it was as if they were just acquaintances. which had led to the idea that maybe Seyoon sometimes reminded Jason of someone he used to love, or maybe still did. The thought of that made Seyoons heart pinch. It hurt.

"Jason"

"Hm?"

"What happened? Really. I don't really remember. I can only remember small bits and pieces"

"What do you remember?"

"Tell me what happened first".

"So, basically you were drugged"

"Yeah, I know that. But by whom? And why?"

"Obviously the guy you were flirting with all night and obviously because he wanted to get into your pants!" Jason got angrier with each word.

"Jason"

"What?!"

"Calm Down?"

Jason let out a breath and relaxed. "Yeah, sorry, I just. Fucking ass"

"Hey, take it easy! I'm ok! Look! See! I'm completely fine!"

"You're fine? How's your back? Huh?"

"My back will be fine! It's just a little sore!"

"Yeah because the asshole threw you on the ground like you were nothing but a worthless doll to him!" Jason suddenly got out of the bed and started pacing.

"Jason!" Seyoon sat up. He was getting anxious watching Jason's emotions bursting at the seams.

"Jason calm down. You're not the one to carry any anger about this. It happened to me! Not you! Please calm down. You can tell me what happened some other time ok? Or not at all! I don't care! Just, please. You must be dead tired. Lie down for a while ok? Take a nap before you go?" Seyoon was about to get out of bed but moved to fast and it really hurt his back and made him flinch.

"Mm... sure..." he stopped pacing and got back to the bed. He laid down on top of the blanket next to Seyoon but he wasn't relaxed. He was crossing his arms and he had a stern look on his face. He was worried about the flinch he'd just seen from Seyoon.

"Wanna do something?"

"You should sleep Seyoon"

"Yes mom" Seyoon rolled his eyes and got comfortable, ready to take a nap. He soon fell asleep.

____________________

"Oh HELL Seyoon!"

Seyoon suddenly woke up. "What! Gosh, why are you so loud?! Fuck, I was sleeping so good!"

"Daaaamn! I didn't know you had this side to you?!"

"What side?!" Seyoon was confused, was he still sleeping? What would have Jason's panties in a twist this seriously?

"This God of I-don't-know-take-my-soul-and-keep-it-forever-kind of skill!"

"What are you talking about?" Seyoon was getting annoyed

"THIS! Jason threw the magazine in Seyoons lap. He'd found the latest editorial fashion spread Seyoon had been hired for."

"I mean. I know you are handsome as hell and you can be sexy as hell too! I know! I've witnessed it myself first hand ! up close! and personal!" It was the first time that Jason mentioned anything about their make-out session. At this point, Seyoon almost believed it had all been a dream, but now Jason was talking about it, and very casually at that!. "But DAMN I didn't know you were related to the devil himself!"

"What? Haha, what are you saying?"

"How many souls have you collected so far? Be honest!"

"Jason, you're being silly! It's just a fashion editorial!... with fairly light clothing sure but still..." he embarrassingly admitted and laughed "...No need to exaggerate"

Jason was staring at him with wonder filling his eyes. As if he was putting together a thousand-piece puzzle in his mind.

"What?" Seyoon wondered "Jason to earth!"

Jason stopped staring and lied back down on the bed. "You're kind of amazing you know that right?"

Now it was Seyoons turn to stare. He'd raised his eyebrows and was looking at Jason with a What-have-you-been-drinking-while-I-was-sleeping-kind of look.

"Go back to sleep Seyoon"

"I'm wide awake now thank you very much. I'm hungry, How about you? Did you get any sleep? otherwise, you can take a nap now while I cook something"

"No! you go back to bed! I'll cook" Jason jumped up from the bed and hurried out into the kitchen. Seyoon could hear him opening the fridge, he couldn't help to chuckle cause that had been too cute. When he came into the kitchen Jason was pulling out a bunch of things and putting it on the counter. Seyoon looked at all the items and scratched his head.

"what are you making?" He couldn't make sense of all the ingredients He'd pulled out.

"Um..... I'm not sure.... but I'll make something good! That's for sure!"

"I'll help you, and no I won't go back to bed so don't even try to tell me to"

Jason angled his head and gave Seyoon an amused glance. "Okay cutie. You can help me. By sitting your fine ass down at the table" Jason said it so easily it was as if he spoke like this to everyone, but the facts were that Seyoon had never heard him talk like this to anyone else. Admittingly, he hadn't heard Jason talk to many other people at all... except for the people he kept flirting with last night. And with that thought, the lump in Seyoons stomach was taking shape again. Being in love was though. He sat down at the table and was watching Jason focused on cooking. Now Jason was chopping some vegetables, it seemed like he was making soup. Seyoon suddenly got the urge to go up to Jason and give him a hug. Before he realised it he'd already taken a few steps towards him. It was too late to back out now. "I'll just give him a friendly back hug... as a thank you for taking care of me since last night".

Jason was still focused on chopping. Seyoon was getting closer to him, He let his body lead the way and turned off the thoughts of doubt. He reached Jason and put his arms around his shoulders. He pulled him close. "Thank you" he softly said. Jason stopped chopping and was still for a moment. Doubt was raised inside Seyoons gut. "Oh, no.... maybe I was too hasty". He started pulling back his arms but was stopped by Jason's hand grabbing ahold of his arm. Jason put down the knife and turned around, putting a hand at Seyoons lower back so he wouldn't go anywhere. Jason slowly placed his other hand on the edge of Seyoons hip. He was looking straight into Seyoons eyes when he said "Don't mention it... but please promise me something... I know I'm not in a position to ask for promises... but please, be careful when you go out?" He could feel Jason's hand move from his back to the other side of his hip. Seyoon could barely hold himself back from kissing Jason, but he was stronger this time. He wouldn't make the same mistake twice. "Sure Jason, I promise" Seyoon averted his eyes and suddenly felt a little shy. Jason took hold of Seyoons chin to force him to look at him again. "And I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for not noticing that he must have put something in your drink. I'm sorry for not paying enough attention. I'm really sorry Seyoon, I feel so guilty...". Seyoon was surprised by the sudden apology. "Jason, there's nothing for you to be sorry about. You've even taken care of me ever since last night." A thought hit Seyoons mind. "has he been taking care of me out of guilt? Seyoon started backing out of the embrace. "wait... Jason... did you... have you... " Had he really believed Jason had stayed with him for any other reason than guilt? He felt so foolish. Were they even friends?

Jason saw the doubt and conflicted emotions filling Seyoons eyes as he was backing away.

"No Seyoon, I want to be here with you. I'm here because I want to ok! I'm not taking care of you just because I feel guilty."

Seyoon wasn't convinced and started walking towards the bathroom. He wanted some time to collect his thoughts. There was no time. Jason caught up with him and pulled him into an embrace, careful not to hurt Seyoons bruise covered back. "I'm Sorry Seyoon. I know I'm giving you mixed signals. I was just not expecting to meet you. I was set on spending my time with finding myself before I go back to Canada, I wasn't looking for anything. Then you turned up just like that and I just wasn't ready". He was finally being honest. With Seyoon and mainly with himself. Seyoon pulled back to look at Jason. He could see his sincerity. The lump in his gut began to melt as Jason gently put one hand on Seyoons cheek. "Seyoon," He said softly

"Mm" Was all that Seyoon could reply.

"how are you feeling now?" Jason's voice was so tender and sweet

"I'm okay.... really...." Seyoons emotions were having the race of a lifetime, rushing to fill his chest. Jason was so close. He was so beautiful. Seyoon really wanted to lean in for a taste. But he held back, he was scared it would turn out like last time, like as if it had never happened and he would blame himself yet again for not being able to control his emotions.

"Seyoon"

"Mm...?"

"Can I kiss you?"

The air was still. The world was in slow motion. Seyoon nodded. Jason came closer, their eyes met for a moment before Seyoons eyes quickly fell to take in the soft shape of Jason's lips, he knew he would always have this image etched into his memory. He wanted time to stop at the same time as he wanted the kiss to happen now. The moment right before a kiss, right before the lips touch is the most magical of moments. That moment was now. Jason came closer and Seyoon took an involuntary step backwards to savour the moment. Seyoons hands were on Jason's waist pulling him along. Seyoons back met the wall. He flinched from the soreness of his bruises but it was okay. He could see Jason being aware of his flinch so he took the lead in pulling him in closer, he didn't want Jason's worry to get into this moment. Jason put his hand on the wall for support so that he wouldn't put any weight on Seyoon and his bruised back. The air was suddenly charged with the sparks of their chemistry. Seyoon took ahold of Jason's shirt to pull him even closer. He could feel their lips brushing against each other. Then Jason made took the final nudge to softly press their lips together. The kiss was soft and still at first. Then Seyoon relaxed his jaw to separate his lips ever so slightly. Jason followed his movement and their lips started dancing a slow heartfelt dance. The moment intensified when Seyoon felt the lump in his gut turn into desire and he took that passionate breath in while deepening their kiss. Jason placed one hand on the back of Seyoons neck to keep him near. Seyoon could feel Jason's hand grabbing his hair and that made the desire in his gut shoot out into his fingertips.

Jason pulled back to breathe. "We should stop". he said trying to hide his slight panting from the excitement of their kiss.

Seyoon pulled him back in to continue their kiss but Jason stopped right before their lips met again. "Seyoon, you should take it easy, Your body needs rest, the bruises need to heal".

Seyoon replied with a slow but intense kiss and then said. "I'm okay Jason, but you're right, I have to take it easy, and we were supposed to be making food, not out."

Jason smiled and leaned in for another soft kiss before they went back into the kitchen. The atmosphere was completely different now. It was lighter and felt more comfortable.

Back in the kitchen, Jason ordered Seyoon to sit down while he made their meal. Relaxed and content Seyoon leaned back on his elbows to just admire the view. "how can a person be so beautiful and sexy and cute all at the same time?!" Seyoon accidentally let out a small laugh from the overwhelming feeling of love he felt. Jason looked up from the cutting board and gave Seyoon a small shy smile. It was so obvious they had something. Even though Seyoon knew it was pure love from his side, he also knew it was just a chemical attraction from Jasons point of view. He was okay with that. Whatever part he could have of Jason was enough. He didn't have to love him back at all, he just needed Jason to be happy.

"Jason"

"Hm?"

"Let's not think too much and just enjoy our time. I don't have the energy to wonder. I just want to be in the now. Is that okay with you?"

Jason walked over to Seyoon and responded with a kiss.

____________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooooook..... I gotta say some part even had me squealing! and I wrote it! (although.... Whenever I write something and I put it away for a few days before editing it I always find part of the story that seems completely new to me! In this chapter there were a few times I asked myself "Did I Really write that!?!?")
> 
> till next time! see ya =P

**Author's Note:**

> \-----
> 
> Chapter 2 - It's not a date -
> 
> \-----  
> This FF is also being published on wattpad, username Lotus514523.


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